I was raised right. My mom provided me with the basics that I would one day need in order to care for a family of my own. Through her example I learned what it takes to support a husband and children; how to provide them with a good home to house their souls, good food to nourish their bodies, and a kind, caring manner with which to nurture their hearts. So, what the hell happened to me?
The fact is that I am a slacker mom. While I started out with an idealistic view of the kind of mother I would be, that ideal died the same agonizing, torturous death that most of my parenting rules have suffered.
I know. Some of you are getting short of breath right now. Your heart is racing and your chest is constricting. You’re very dedicated to your family. You’ll do almost anything to provide them with warm, comfortable, memorable lives. And now here is a mom who has fallen from grace. One who has given up the holy grail of motherhood—perfection. Now you’re worried. “Will I give up and become a slacker, too?” Or worse, “Who is DisgruntledMom? Do her kids play with mine?” The answer to both questions is—maybe!
Some of you know you’re slackers, some only suspect, or worry, that you’re headed down that path. I’ve put together a few things that I know about myself (I’m not proud but I’ll own them!). As you scan the list, if you notice any similarities between my life and yours, sorry, but you may in fact be a slacker mom!
- I’ve been known to dust around lamps, books, etc.
- I will sometimes vacuum the hairballs & big piles of dust off of the hardwood floor rather than sweep.
- I will lay towels under the toddler’s chair to catch dropped food. It’s so much easier to fold up the towel and shake it over the trash than to sweep the food particles off the floor. This rule isn’t even necessary if you have dogs! Helpful little creatures.
- For years I didn’t buy cookware, dishes or utensils that couldn’t be washed in the dishwasher. The Hubbin did recently shell out some cash for high quality cookware that has to be hand washed. It literally takes about 40 seconds to wash each pot, and there’s no scrubbing the burnt crap off the bottom (and there’s always burning involved because I’m no damn Betty Crocker!).
- I cook a lot of one-pot meals more for convenience than for a love of casseroles.
- I’m not above the occasional McMeal.
- I love the summer because I can make entire meals of cold foods. I don’t have to cook and nobody minds cold foods on hot days.
- I love to barbeque. (Okay, I love for The Hubbin to barbeque)
Around the house:
- If I can’t use Gorilla Glue, it isn’t getting fixed!
- I don’t buy clothes that I’ll have to iron
- If my clothes do wrinkle, I hang them in the bathroom while showering to “steam” out the wrinkles rather than iron.
- I utilize a creative relocation method of my mail stacks to make it look like I’ve cleaned the counter.
- I haven’t had window coverings over two windows because I just don’t know what the measurements are.
- I’ve been known to buy The Hubbin new clothes rather than sew a button on the old ones.
So, maybe you’re not a slacker mom, but aspire to be one. If so, I think I’ve just given you several helpful hints to get you headed on your way to that goal.
I know that my home may not be as perfect, warm or comfortable as that of a more dedicated mom, but it’ll create some lasting memories of it’s own! And the memories will have to suffice because I have no idea where the hell I put all the memory books I had planned to fill out!
3 Replies to “Confessions of a Slacker Mom”
Oh, we could be sisters. Hello, my name is Janine and I’m a Slacker Mom. I too don’t know where our mop is. My dad does the vacuuming when he comes to look after my 2 year old during the day and he cleans my windows. I haven’t done that since 1982 or thereabouts.
I do, however, have a bit of an unhealthy fetish for the smell of freshly ironed clothes, so I have been known to wave an iron in the vicinity of my husbands shirts now and then.
OMG, you have clean windows? I can’t tell if it’s really overcast outside or if it’s just the fingerprints and dog-nose smudges clouding up the view.
I don’t really know of a cure for your ironing problem. Maybe some counseling?
Oh nay, nay ladies. You are not slackers – you are experts at time management as well as designation experts.
There are some weeks that I don’t have my act together that I have to hurry up and do a load of The Man Beast’s drawers because he doesn’t have any clean. THIS makes me a Slacker Mom & Wife. Good thing he loves me, huh? LOL