An Amazing Offer…For a Seven Year Old

I was up to my elbows in dishwater and Gerber Peas. The Baby and The Oldest were laughing in the living room, The Middle was screaming in his bedroom (he was there for his own safety; bad day, long story, never mind that), and the dog was panting and cowering at my feet (thunder storm!). The phone rang and I knew when I had to say, “Hello?” the second time that some telemarketer on the other end was scrambling for the line and about to spew a pitch at me. The call wasn’t actually for me though.

Now, I know enough Spanish to know who the telemarketers are calling for. They call for my and The Hubbin all the time. But, I was a little shocked that they were already calling for my son. How did they get his name?

I politely informed the caller, “he doesn’t speak Spanish.” That usually sends them away. Not this time. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said “may I please speak to Mr. (The Oldest)?” I peaked into the living room in time to see his Sponge Bob underwear get snagged by the handle of the rocking horse as he ran by. The ricochet effect threw him to the floor and his baby brother immediately belly flopped onto his head. “Alright,” I said. “Telephone,” I held the phone to The Oldest and he looked at me with a mixture of fear and awe. In all fairness, he had a reason to be concerned about the phone in my hand. I’ve been promising for years to call Santa…and the police. “It’s for you,” I told him and snuck into the kitchen to the extension.

Needless to say, it didn’t go as well as the caller had hoped. My son didn’t quite get the low APR and cash back on certain purchases offer.  The dud eventually hung up and The Oldest is back to the “Do Your Chores and Save Your Money” plan for making new purchases. Is it wrong for me to have denied him his 1st credit card offer?  Especially now, when his credit rating is the best it will ever be.  He does have Plan B- as in Beg Mommy and Daddy until they give in.

4 Replies to “An Amazing Offer…For a Seven Year Old”

  1. Mark Salinas says: Reply

    Hilarious! I have to try that one out! 🙂

  2. OMG that was hilarious, I think next time one calls I will give it to my kids, too. Even if it’s not for them. I think my kids would enjoy messing with a telemarketer. Great idea, where the heck did they get the kids names, though. That’s disturbing. I used to work for a Chinese man who advised me to get credit in my kids names, because by the time they’re old enough to need their credit themselves the bad marks will have gone. I haven’t tried it, though.

  3. I never thought there was any one else in the world as crazy as we are! My husband got so tired of telemarketers asking for little boy that he did the same thing…only my son was in a crying fit at the time…he was screaming at the top of his lungs! We laughed so hard. Of course the telemarketer hung up…never found out what they were selling!!

  4. disgruntledmom says: Reply

    I’m not sure where they got the Oldest’s name. The only thing I’ve ever signed him up for is a birthday wish from a certain toy store’s big talking giraffe (and we always seem to miss that damn phone call!)

Leave a Reply